Arrested Development

While talking to a friend, who’s an active alcoholic, he mentioned that addicts/alcoholics tend to become stunted emotionally when they begin their active addiction. I’d like to explore this concept using my own life.

I began smoking and drinking as a teenager in order to fit in with the popular crowd, mostly on weekends. Some of these high school friends still have the ability to make me feel insecure and shy even at the age of 56 with four years clean and sober! My active meth addiction began in my early twenties and continued into my mid-thirties. It was during this time that I was able to teach high school English. It was a small school, and according to the attention I received, I wasn’t bad-looking, that is until make-up could no longer hide the picking I was doing at my skin. Instead of being the self-assured, mature teacher, I fed off the attention I received from the older boys. I realize now, I was emotionally stunted from my years of addiction. If it were respect I craved, acknowledging their advances was not the way to get it!

After a devastating car wreck, I spent the next 16 years abusing prescription drugs. A ground-breaking study done at Indiana University, Bloomington, shows “adolescents who abuse alcohol or drugs have enormous difficulties transitioning into adulthood.” It also showed that substance abuse, poor health, multiple sexual partners, life dissatisfaction, truncated education, and financial problems were consistent among individuals who began abusing drugs or alcohol early in life. They suffered from arrested development. There was also a link between substance abuse and mental health issues for these individuals.

It was only when I hit my rock bottom with nowhere to go but up, that my chaos began to straighten out and give my life purpose. Helping others avoid the road I chose is that purpose. In order to do this, I must be an example of clean and sober living.

I tend to be one of, if not the oldest person in my social and social media circles. Most of these friends have endearing names for me, which I love! Having numerous health problems from a long life of hard living, these “kids” make my heart and soul happy! My name is Pauletta, and I’m a recovering addict.